Things that turn us on... right

Mandy once mowed her family’s lawn without a blade for three hours and didn’t notice a thing. Erich once fell asleep with Crest Whitening Strips on and had numb gums for three days. Who wouldn’t want to know what turns us on?

1. Whoopi Goldberg — Because anyone who can pull off the no-eyebrow look is a sexy beast in our book.
2. Candy necklaces — Because they leave orange marks all over your neck and wrists.
3. Shiny grills — A mouth full of metal... enough said.
4. Flubbery arms — Because if there is enough flub, you can hide things in there.
5. Platoon — An introspective examination on wartime’s catastrophic human toll.
6. Cement mixers — All that spinning... HMMMM MMMMM.
7. Pleather — Hot, sticky, and cheap. Just the way we like it.
8. The third-floor Hunt Library technician — He can stay up allllll night.
9. CMT — Because sometimes they get Dolly Parton on there.
10. YOU — We’re that desperate.