Dollar movie

No Movie

Do some studying, or else go to bed early so you can go to that 9:30 a.m. math class you’ve slept through for the past two months. It is the last class, after all. My point is, you don’t need to see a movie tonight. There’s plenty else you should be doing.

And Happy Hanukkah — tonight’s the second night.

Exiled 8 10 12

Forget the Bloods and the Crips, this movie follows Asian gangsters. Set in Hong Kong and completely in Cantonese, Exiled features guns, bangs, and a hot lady. The premise: Two guys show up at a house looking to protect Wo. Two more guys show up at house looking to kill Wo. Enter Wo, an ex-gangster. Whoa. Many Mexican standoffs and even more shooting ensue. It’s an Eastern Western, get it?

The Simpsons Movie 8 10 12

D’oh! In the popular TV show’s film debut, Homer Simpson has polluted Springfield’s water supply, so the government traps the town under a glass dome with plans to destroy it. All the favorites are back: Homer, Lisa, Bart, Marge, Maggie, Grampa, Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders ­— you name it. The movie is just like a really long episode of the TV show, so only watch it if you’re a fan of the show, in which case you’ve probably already watched it.

Rush Hour 3 8:15 10 11:45

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan return once again to do some kung fu. And then make some funny jokes. And then do a little more kung fu. The only thing this movie is lacking is a plot — it seems the filmmakers just let Tucker and Chan joke in front of a camera for hours, which can be funny but ridiculous. Basically it’s one of those movies you see because you saw the first two.

Battle Royale 7:30 10 12:30

In this gory film, 42 students are given three days to kill each other until one survives, or else they all die. The result is pretty much what you would expect: screaming, spattering, and gore. The film is Japanese, but luckily, violence is just one of those things you don’t need language for. If the impending exams are starting to stress you out, watch this — it’ll help with some of that anger you’ve been bottling up.