Dollar Movie

Smart People
10
Smart People is finally premiering this week across the nation, and we get to see it a whole day early. In case you don’t know what it’s about, here’s a quick rundown: Dennis Quaid, a Carnegie Mellon professor, and his daughter Vanessa, Juno’s Ellen Page, lead your typical dismal, dysfunctional, everyday Carnegie Mellon life. Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church (Spider-Man 3’s Sandman) come in and do that traditional life-fixing thing inspirational people do in movies like Garden State and Elizabethtown. It is cute, sweet, and Scrabble tiles are involved. Don’t go: Thomas Haden Church scares you. Go: What’s more mind blowing than watching a movie set at Carnegie Mellon when you’re actually at Carnegie Mellon?

Atonement
7:30 10 12:30

Keira Knightley: I’m too elitist for you.

James McAvoy: I love you.

Keira Knightley: Okay, I love you, too.

Thirteen-year-old brat tells lie.

James and Keira: Oh no, we can’t be together.

Thirteen-year-old brat: I have to repent.

Guy sitting next to you: That cinematography is amazing! What a romantic movie.

You: Do I know you? Don’t touch me.

The Bucket List
Saturday, April 12
8:15 10 11:45
I come from South Florida, land of the old people. As a result, I refuse to watch a movie about old people — I like to take advantage of my youth. But hey, if you want to watch a movie about what Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman would do if they had only six months to live, here’s what you need to know: The movie is slightly inspirational, kind of fun, a little life thrilling, but ultimately fairly cheesy and overdone — I would only watch it because I wish Morgan Freeman would narrate my life. But it’s about old people, and as such, I’m spending my Saturday night doing what they only wish they could.

Slither
8 10 12

Gore, slugs, zombies, slugs, blood, Jabba the Hutt, slugs. And that’s pretty much what Slither is about. Did I mention that the movie is covered in slugs? If you can get past the slimy, disgusting, bloody gore, Slither is actually supposed to be a pretty good thriller for those hard-core enthusiasts that liked Dawn of the Dead. It’s also fairly funny from what I hear, but when your husband is infested with slugs, what isn’t hilarious?